A partnership built on respect will last. So, define respect for me. To Respect in a Relationship is to see them as an integral component of the world, rather than a means to an end. It means that you accept the fact that your partner has different life experiences and viewpoints from your own.
Respecting someone verbally is simple; showing respect is more difficult. This February, in honour of National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, I’d like to discuss some practical ways to demonstrate respect for your partner. After all, merely refraining from physical violence and insults does NOT constitute respectful treatment of one’s spouse.
You may earn your partner’s respect in these six methods. Tell us what else needs to be said.
Start by proving that you can be trusted.
Every kind of connection, not just romantic ones, require trust from one another. Trusting someone goes much beyond merely having faith that they won’t cheat on you, and relying on your gut instincts is no match for really demonstrating that faith in your partner’s reliability.
A sign of trust is to refrain from continuously bothering your partner with calls and texts. Just one quick text or phone call will do. You should leave a message letting them know you’re thinking about them and would like to hear from them soon. This demonstrates that you have faith in your spouse to make contact with you whenever they are able to and that you know your partner values your efforts.
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t snoop through your partner’s phone or belongings without their knowledge and consent. It’s best to bring up your suspicions if you have a nagging feeling they’re trying to keep something from you. If there isn’t any conflict, there’s no reason to create it.
Second, watch your language choices.
Relationships rely on a number of factors, but one of the most crucial and challenging is communication. That’s because if you want to be open and honest with your spouse, you have to be open and honest with yourself first.
Don’t presume that your lover can read your thinking. It’s healthy to express your emotions and seek comfort from others when you’re feeling down. Quit making accusations. Using “I” sentences, such as “I feel terribly disregarded and irrelevant when you cancel our plans at the last minute” or “I feel annoyed when you constantly ask me to hang out when you know I need to study” can help you get your point across. Regard for my time is one of the things I value most. In other words, you should never feel guilty for experiencing any of the range of feelings that life brings.
It’s normal for people to have different opinions from time to time. Don’t go silent or hide during this time. If you can’t think of anything else to say, at least tell your spouse that you’re unhappy and need some time to calm down before you continue the conversation. That way they won’t worry that you’ve abandoned them or ignored how they feel. Use phrases like “I get why you feel that way” or “I hear what you’re saying” to reassure your spouse that you comprehend their experience.
There is more to communication than just words, though. Wearing the perfume or aftershave they prefer, sharing music you both enjoy, or giving them flowers are all great ways to show your significant other how much you care.
Third, you should always be responsible and dependable.
The ability to trust one another is crucial in any relationship, but it’s nearly impossible to do so with someone who repeatedly bails on you or, worse, lies to you.
Don’t just talk the talk; back up your words with action. You shouldn’t accept dinner invitations you’re not sure you can make. Instead, accept responsibility. The two of you should use a calendar to keep track of your schedules and potential plans. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you must, schedule a reminder on your phone. Respecting your partner’s time and effort is a sign of reliability. Having your plans repeatedly altered, after all, can be a source of worry.
Of course, there will be occasions when you have to cancel because of unforeseen circumstances, such as a family emergency, illness, or forgetting to study for an important exam. This is not a situation in which you should feel guilty (or be persuaded to feel bad!). However, demonstrating that you understand the impact of your actions (whether voluntary or involuntary) on your partner can go a long way toward mending things. If you can’t make it, please let them know and offer to reschedule.
Recommend some alone time.
It’s normal to want to see your significant other constantly when you’re in a new relationship. That’s the way it usually is. But it’s easy to put such connections above others—even ones that matter more, like those you have with your loved ones. No one, no matter how wonderful, can fulfil all of your emotional and social requirements. Plus, it’s healthy to have time apart from your partner every once in a while. You may both keep developing as persons whether you spend time alone or with others. Each of you may contribute fresh perspectives and interests to the partnership, enriching and revitalising it. The two of you can open out to one another about your friendships and families. Almost everyone feels the want to boast about a new significant other.
Learn to celebrate your individuality.
Don’t be a downer and rip into your partner’s interests or ideas. It’s possible to disagree with someone while yet holding that person in high regard. Dissimilarities are a great part of what makes a relationship interesting. Even if you don’t end up changing your mind, your spouse can help you see things from a different angle. Even if you have no interest in baseball or art, surprising your significant other by attending a game or exhibition they are involved in is a great way to show them how much they mean to you.
Recognize that your partner may have different boundaries than you do. Don’t force your partner to kiss strangers, have sex in front of their parents, or do anything else they’re not comfortable doing. This is harsh and manipulative in nature.
Learn who you are as a person
You’re doing more than just getting to know someone in a relationship. Introspection is learning more about who you are. A person’s desires and needs from their loved ones can be better understood after entering into a relationship. Where are your boundaries of acceptance? Is there a quality that you lack that you think others have? To what extent will you not budge from your most fundamental beliefs? Perhaps you and your spouse have different musical tastes, but you can put up with the fact that they aren’t as kind to your cat as you are. Learn about who you are as a person and as a potential spouse. Your partner will appreciate your improved communication skills as you gain self-awareness.
Once you’ve established your own personal boundaries, it’ll be much clearer when they’ve been broken and you need to stop the connection.
Respecting others is not as difficult as it seems.
In the end, it’s as simple as being attentive and considerate to your mate. You may be in an abusive relationship if your partner is always concerned about your whereabouts, constantly accuses you of lying or cheating, constantly belittles you, constantly berates you, and/or is physically hostile against you. Relationship abuse occurs when one partner exerts excessive dominance over the other. One in three American adolescents has been the victim of dating abuse, and these relationships have a devastating impact on millions of people every year. One option is to consult a therapist. They can assist you in making sense of your situation and deciding upon the most appropriate next steps.
Tiffanie Brown, LCSW works at the Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center as a professional social worker. For the past six years, she has helped out teenagers who are otherwise overlooked and unattended to. Ms. Brown is an expert in her field because to her extensive training in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and her focus on helping those whose emotions are out of whack and who engage in harmful behaviours like self-harm and reckless driving. Ms. Brown uses a blend of cognitive behavioural therapy and psychodynamic theory in her work with adolescents, which she delivers in the form of continuing individual, group, and family therapy.
There is a centre dedicated to the health of adolescents in New York City, and it is housed at Mount Sinai. More than 12,000 young people are given access to free, high-quality medical treatment every year. This column is for informational and educational reasons only and is not intended to provide specific medical advice, diagnosis, opinion, treatment, or services to you or any other individual.
